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If you google freebirth or unassisted birth (which I don’t recommend doing!) you will be met with article after article describing this choice as a result of being “between a rock and a hard place”, “a new trend caused by poor maternity care” or women being “left with no other option”. And whilst the maternity system absolutely has had a part to play in leading women to this path, birthing unassisted is not “the lesser of two evils”, it is a return to the biological norm. For many women it is their first, instinctual choice. Why? Because it makes perfect sense.

Although it is the overriding narrative and the social norm now, having a medically trained person “assist” you during labour and birth is a relatively new concept. Before midwifery was taken over by the medical model of obstetrics, the role of a midwife was one of presence rather than assisting. 

The biological process of a smooth labour and birth is rooted in feeling safe, being warm, being undisturbed and unobserved. Like all mammals, these basic needs are what we intuitively seek to meet as labour begins and builds. So, to naturally meet these needs we seek out dark, quiet, private spaces where we are able to move freely, make noise if we need to and feel certain that we will not be disturbed. This is the foundation of a smooth birth, it is the ideal setting for all of our bodily functions to take their natural course. Think about going for a poo, being sick or having an orgasm. These bodily functions, just like birth, work best when we have privacy and are not being observed or judged in any way. If you want to get into these basic needs in relation to your own birth plans, check out our workshop here.

What is your ideal?

We speak to women every day who are planning their births in various places, with various people, and we often ask them; “What is your absolute ideal, if you take away all the pressure and all of the expectations, where would you give birth and with whom?”. Their first responses are often; “I’d just stay at home, call the midwife at the last minute and maybe she would arrive after my baby is born” which indicates that her reason for calling a midwife isn’t about safety at all but about the social expectation of that being what she “should” do. When we dig a little deeper she tends to get to her genuine ideal, without the fluff to make it more socially acceptable, and it is almost always; “It would just be me at home, maybe in the bathroom”.

The thing is, when women say this or they share their experiences of doing it (even with the proof that everything went smoothly!) they are met with shock and horror. This gives the impression that they were somehow sailing close to the wind and “something terrible” could have happened. However, when women come out of a birth experience with medical professionals where they were ignored, coerced, assaulted in many cases and left traumatised, their story is met with an acceptance that they “did the right thing” and “at least you’re both healthy”. You cannot be healthy and traumatised at the same time, health is more than just the physical and in many cases women are both physically and mentally unwell when they have experienced a medically managed birth. As a society we need to remember our roots, our biological norm. We need to stop sensationalising perfectly normal births as “risky” and stop minimising obstetric violence and abuse as an inevitable inconvenience.

Giving birth at home without any strangers around is the ideal for so many women, but our socialisation tells us that we should make a compromise for the illusion of safety. Freebirth is labelled as the second choice or the compromise but that is the wrong way around. Women all over the country (and many parts of the world) are compromising their mental and physical safety, their values, their experience, their bonding and breastfeeding experiences because the medical system has positioned itself as the gold standard.

Why would any mammal choose to leave her familiar environment, go to unfamiliar territory where there could be predators (or strangers), distractions and noise in order to give birth?

If your immediate response to this question is “because women used to die in childbirth!” I implore you to firstly remember that people used to die of a cold too, and then read Marjorie Tew’s book Safer Childbirth. She explains the many things that have made birth safer in general for women, like better overall health and living conditions, the notion of washing our hands every now and then etc. and how hospitals have not.

If freebirth is your first choice, your ideal, your normal then please know that you are not alone!

If you want support during your pregnancy, birth and postpartum, whether freebirth is your first choice or not, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

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