What is a mother blessing?
In the olden days we’d be initiated (or re-initiated) into motherhood by our nearest and dearest, probably not on one particular day, but gradually throughout our lives. By the time it was our turn we’d know what our bodies were capable of, we’d understand the power that was in our blood, and witnessing birth and breastfeeding would be a regular part of our lives. We wouldn’t have any reason to doubt our wondrous bodies, because we had seen the wisdom in action of so many others. There were no books or courses on giving birth because there didn’t need to be.
Nowadays things are different. The only aspects of pregnancy, labour and birth that are acceptable to talk about openly are the medical interventions a woman is subjected to along the way; the things which are done to her. Birth as a rite of passage, as a bodily function, as an everyday miracle, has disappeared everywhere except within sacred circles of women.
It’s our birthright to have joyous, wild, raw, and gentle births. We’re meant to go into motherhood exalted, confident, and primed for the deepest love possible. We know this is rarely attainable in the system as it is, but every time a woman reclaims her dues it has the potential to heal all of us, and particularly the next generation.
Having a motherblessing is an opportunity for those who love you to reflect back your self-confidence and trust, and show you their belief in your miraculous body and the intuition it houses.
What might a motherblessing look like?
Your motherblessing should reflect who you are as a woman. There is no set way to do this! It can be as hippyish as you like and can include whatever activities/ceremonies feel right to you (if any). It might be that you simply want to gather the women in your life into one space to share stories and hold space for you. You might want to incorporate other things like;
- a red thread circle to mark a connection between you all
- calling in your (and your friends) female ancestors, to remind you of the long line of women who came before you, the majority of whom will have given birth unassisted
- sharing food
- sharing positive birth stories
- each of your guests bringing a bead to thread together to make a necklace/bracelet that will bring you strength during your journey
- belly casting/mapping
- giving each guest a candle to light when you go into labour
- art which might include visual affirmations or creating clay goddesses
- singing songs
These are just a few ideas from motherblessings we have organised in the past, but they may not resonate with you – your motherblessing is personal and so should only include things that you feel connected to.
What if I don’t have many women in my life who I would like to invite?
That’s okay. Motherblessings can work really well with fewer people present so don’t let that hold you back! You might feel weird or awkward about asking people to come and celebrate you on your journey, but you deserve this. Having someone else organise your motherblessing (lead by you, of course) can help to take some of that awkwardness out of it. We also know a few women who are always keen to attend motherblessings, even if they don’t know the woman, because they know how powerful it can be to be surrounded by others who believe birth is normal.
What would GMD’s role be?
If you decide that you would like us to support you in having a motherblessing, there are lots of aspects we can help with. These would include:
- talking with you about what you want from your motherblessing and putting together a plan with you leading the way
- we would offer you a ‘holding space’ session to talk about anything that is on your mind that you may want to process before your motherblessing
- setting up a WhatsApp group chat with all of your invitees so that we can explain what a motherblessing is and what they can expect from it
- we can answer questions from your friends about what you want bringing etc. so that you don’t have to ask for things if you’re not comfortable with that
- we can also offer any of your guests a ‘holding space’ session beforehand so that if they are carrying a traumatic birth experience, they will have a chance to process it before coming to your motherblessing
- we can provide some art materials and other items to make the space feel special
- attending the motherblessing and facilitating any planned activities
How much does it cost?
The baseline fee for this service is £174 but can vary depending on how much involvement you would like from us. All of the suggestions above are optional and each motherblessing will be individualised so please ask us about our fee. We also have some funding available to cover certain parts of this service so if finances would be a barrier please do let us know.